If you have experienced any abuse in your home you need to consult with a Temecula domestic violence lawyer as soon as possible.
You need a Temecula domestic violence lawyer to keep you safe
Domestic Violence Restraining Orders
Breaking up is difficult enough, but when domestic violence is involved, it is even more complicated. If you are the victim, you are worried that you will never be safe. Maybe your partner told you that you were crazy. Maybe you know that you are in a bad situation, but you do not know how to get out of it. If you have been accused of domestic violence, maybe the situation was blown out of proportion. Perhaps your significant other is trying to get the upper hand in a custody case. Especially when children are involved, a domestic violence case has serious consequences. It is doubly important to have a skilled domestic violence lawyer on your side. Should you try to negotiate a settlement and avoid going to trial? Is trial the best route to take? These are questions you should explore with a Temecula domestic violence lawyer.
Tragically, a bad breakup frequently ends in violence. When this occurs, if often requires the intervention of the courts to protect the parties. Domestic violence can be blatant- such as one person choking or punching the other. It can also be more subtle, such as isolating a partner and depriving them of financial control.
The Cycle of Domestic Violence
Your partner is charming and accommodating one moment and has an explosive temper the next. Your partner is not mean and nasty all the time. Afterall, if this was the case, why would you bother staying with him or her? Victims of domestic violence hang onto the potential of their partner- the person he or she is when at their best. Victims forgive- and often forget- all the hurtful things in between. Like most things in life, domestic violence comes in a cycle:
- The honeymoon phase: Your partner is loving and attentive. He or she is exactly the person you know and love. He or she is the perfect partner.
- The tension phase: Your partner is agitated and irritable. Nothing you do will please him or her. You feel a build up of anger and resentment in your partner.
- The explosive phase: Your partner becomes violently angry. Sometimes it even becomes physical.
- The push your boundaries phase: Your partner’s anger has pushed you to the limits. You do not believe you can take any more. He or she tells you that you are crazy and everything is your fault. You know it is not true and you cannot take any more.
- The break up phase: You have had enough. You cannot believe you have put up with this for so long. You decide to leave your partner and you begin plotting your exit. Maybe you even leave the house and decide never to go back.
- The apology phase: Your partner tracks you down and apologizes. Your partner tells you he or she is sorry, but it is your fault. If only you had done X, Y, or Z better, your partner would not have exploded. You believe the story.
- The make up phase: You decide to give your spouse just one more chance. Perhaps you were too hard on your partner. Perhaps he or she will change this time. Perhaps you can do things better and avoid another fight. This will be the last time it happens. You decide to go back to your partner.
- Repeat the Cycle: The cycle begins all over again. You are happy for awhile, then tension builds up again. Your partner explodes and this time pushes your boundaries just a little bit further than the last time.
- Confusion: After being in the cycle for any amount of time, you lose track of reality. Up is down, right is left. You feel crazy. Everything is your fault. You have lost your friends and family. You are isolated and helpless. How do you get out?
If the above describes you, know that what you are experiencing is not your fault. There is a way out and there is a better tomorrow. Get help now before things get even more out of control. Call us now for help.
Acts of Domestic Violence
You are probably in abusive relationship if two or more of the following things occur during arguments:
- Your partner has thrown things
- Your partner has broken things
- Your partner has punched walls
- Your partner has broken a door frame by slamming the door so hard
- Your partner has kicked things
- Your partner has followed you around the house and will not leave you alone
- Your partner has chest bumped you
- Your partner has grabbed you by the arms
- Your partner has prevented you from leaving the house
- Your partner has blocked you from leaving a room
- Your partner has preventing you from making a phone call
- Your partner has broken into your room when it is locked
- Your partner has followed you in the car
- Your partner has kept you awake all night
- Your partner has spit on you
- Your partner has taken your car keys
- Your partner has locked you out of the house
- Your partner has grabbed you by the hair
- Your partner has slapped you
- Your partner has disabled your car
- Your partner has destroyed your sentimental property
- Your partner has isolated you from family and friend
- Your partner punishes you for having friends
- Your partner tries to prevent you from bettering yourself
- Your partner has spied on you by going through your phone, emails, wallet or purse
- Your partner makes you feel crazy